Sunday, October 7, 2012

My Nasty, Naughty, Neighbor

I was going to post my first book review today, since I finished Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia, the third book in the Alcatraz series by Brandon Sanderson, but I got my hands on the fourth book, Alcatraz Versus the Shattered Lens, this morning so I'm going to go ahead and wait to do that review until I've finished the series so I can give you a complete review of the series as a whole. Instead, I come to you today with a tale of scandal, involving a dangerously high pair of heels, a transparent shirt, and a nosy neighbor (I swear it's not Desperate Housewives.)

Yesterday afternoon I was in my room getting ready to go dancing (not the clubbing type of dancing-- I mean swing dancing... because I'm a swing dancer) and I was trying out different tops. I checked in the mirror to discover that a top I'd worn a few times already was, in fact, see-through. Now, this doesn't really bother me, since half of my tops are transparent and in dance you sort of just roll with it, but this top was particularly transparent, so I thought maybe I'd try it with a shirt underneath. As I was crossing my room to my dresser, I pulled the top off over my head. Some sort of weird, powers of the universe or some such must have been in motion because I suddenly looked out the window and made eye contact with my neighbor. What he was doing, as a first floor resident, looking up into my second story window, I could easily guess, except the moment our eyes met he did not look embarrassed that I had caught him in the act of being a peeping tom, nor did he look like a dirty, dirty boy hoping to catch me in my undies. He looked, of all things, offended. Now, at the risk of sounding conceited, it has to be said I'm not ugly. In fact, I'm pretty dang hot, so why on earth this college aged guy was judging me for being partially clothed in my own home instead of high-fiving his roommates and catcalling, I will never know.

To make matter more hilarious, that was not my last encounter with him. I stayed at my friend’s house last night, as I was too lazy to drive home (read: I don’t have a car). So, at the early hour of 9AM this morning, she dropped me off at the corner of main street and I walked the block and a half back to my apartment. Now, keep in mind that I am a terribly lazy person and so I woke up about thirty-five seconds before leaving my friend’s house. So, it should not come as a surprise to you that I was still wearing my pajamas—which consisted of yoga pants and no bra—but also my high heels from the day before. Classy. I know. Anyway, as I was tottering—I don’t have great balance, okay?—down the street, I spotted my peeping-tom-neighbor walking toward me. We both averted our eyes, which proved troublesome because neither of us could see where we were going—although I couldn’t before either, since I had forgotten to put on my glasses that morning and they were at the very bottom of my bag. However, it was not what was at the bottom of my bag that was important, but what was on top: my bra. As my naughty neighbor and I passed each other, still unable to gauge relative distance, he knocked into me. As I said before, I was wearing heels—and as a very inept walker at the best of times, this did not bode well. I went spinning around and my bag, already precarious on my arm, emptied. It was as if in slow motion that my bra went flying through the air and landed in the middle of the street. We both stood there for a second staring at my underwear and then we bumped into each other again as I made to retrieve the article of clothing and he attempted a hasty departure.

The whole ordeal was quite the awkward encounter, but as my best friend said not moments later when I related to story to her, it makes for the perfect beginnings of a romantic comedy. I’ve always wanted my life to be like one of those serendipitous movies with the perfect guy and me being the perfect girl, but alas that is not the case… me neighbor’s kinda boring looking and, judging by his reaction yesterday, he might be gay. But such is my life…

I promise the next post will actually book related. I’m finishing this post way later in the day than I expected, so I’m almost done with Alcatraz #4 and I’ll be able to write up a review soon!

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